Walking Forward

This bitches can be so annoying. I couldn’t find a group of women who are so lazy and expect everything done for them and so needy. Geez, its so annoying. Especially when I come from a home when the only woman in my life was my mom and she insisted on doing everything herself. I sometimes sit and think of things that I might say or do that would incite such provoking enlightenment. But to no avail, i sink into hopelessness. 

Fucking blows.  

On another note, I still havent finished Ulysses. I should have finished this book weeks ago and it still lingers. Im going to try to knock it out this week. The Miami Heat are playing early today so I probably will have time to get some good reading done. One of my acquaintances whom I follow on Twitter suggested to buy a help reader specifically for this book so i can actually understand what the hell Mr Joyce is talking about when he speaks words that he’s making up. 

Well, Comet Pan-starrs is on the horizon after sunset and my friends and me are gearing up to check it out by going into the Everglades on thursday. Cant wait. Im bringing my DSLR and a tripod for the serious raw pics. 

I think I can be a writer. WHy not. Ive seen enough shit to put together a story of intrigue something that can be a thought provoker.Something that will matter.In hope that they will understand. , or maybe just tell you about mine. About how life is and what you should know or something that would make you consider yours and what you can possibly do with your own and figure out its not a shitty world. What i would like to do is display to you another face of our humility, even though our darkness maybe bottomless so may the sky be topless. Right now im reading Ulysses by James Joyce. Its a very difficult book to read. Some of the words are so outdated that nobody hears them anymore. Some I havent heard and some are just made up. He does a good job of making me understand how it might have been back in those days in Dublin. The chosen words used by everyday folk is so interesting and weird.  Sitting here at Starucks ive been able to see a different way that people interact with each other in the morning. The staff here are very joyous. I commend them for that. I guess the management did a great job at picking who exactly they wanted to work here. Anyways….i have to get back to studying, if i keep fucking around i might end up on reddit trolling.

Ive been asked about my new years resolution a few times and honestly i didn’t have one. Or any. So i made some up that would fill the gaps for the time being. But while i was sitting down on the John i came to a conclusion from a conversation i was having with my brother and his difficulty with college lit. My brother told me i had the tools to do it, and that is to write a book. And i thought about it for a minute literally. He goes, “why not? I think you can do it. You have the tools”. So i pondered for days and a few weeks. I thought about how to approach it. How and what do i write about. I was reading a simple manga called dragon ball and there came a story where the lesson was the journey and not the destination. There lies the training. So i figured if i knew about the best novels and authors and built a opinion on style, i would therefore identify style and all its components. From there, form my own style. I have compiled a list of books that have turned into a book list resolution for the year. I think its a challenge . Some books will be difficult. Others fun and enjoyable. In the end i will be different, but more importantly, for the better.

Geez Guatemala city

So im here spending some time with the family, specifically for my cousin. To say the least its been ok. What i do hate is the smog. its unbearable at times. These law makers should clean this city up. I dont understand why people are ok with this. Even the rich ones. Its fucking ridiculous. My aunt washed her car and within one drive into the city center the fucking car was dirty. WTF? I started getting headaches and on top of that i couldnt roll down my windows because the cautiousness you need to take from getting robbed by a passerby on a motor bike. What kinda shit is that. I wish someone would try to. I would have like a shot gun ready for that punk. BOOM. Anyways….one of my cousins wanted to take me out to have a good night but was actually using me to get away from his girl for one night…which i dont understand because she is pretty enough and i would have been trying to have sex with if she was my GF every night, wants to come out with me. He wants to suck some strangers titties at a titty bar and wants to take me with him. Honestly, I actually work at a strip club. Why the fuck would I want to go out to one. What I would really like to be doing is fucking my GF right now and suckin on her tits than being out in the night with my cousin because he wants to get away from his GF. Crazy how life is. Im a down to earth kind of guy. I like the simple things and cherish what most just throw away. Even if its just time. What I would have liked is just to meet some of his friends….bring his GF and go out to a nice bar and chill the fuck out and stop and smell the roses. Well  luck will have it that after he took me on a tour through cental square where they were having a huge festivities, we went to eat Taco fucking Bell. Yes. they actually have them all over now. This place is getting better on every trip. I eat a XXL tortilla filled with cheese and steak. Im full just thinking of it. Once we leave his car goes hay wire. turns out his alternator or battery is dying and we had a choice. Either he can drop me off at my aunts so i can definitely make it to the wedding but then he would be stuck with a dead car which hasnt even happened yet but were saying all the possibilities or head to his house and then from there he would have more leverage on getting us help from a car stuck in a dark road with Semi trucks everywhere and people running around and the possibilty of getting robbed. I eventually told him to head home. It would be the best option and it did. The car died and I was left to push him through a slew of cars and trucks zooming by with smoke up my nostrils and a motor bike almost hitting me and the cops telling me to move it into a side open area…..and let me tell you ….it wasnt much room. We were stuck there, cold night, trucks, cars, in a unknown part of town, wondering if we had to walk home or something. Luckily his cousin came through to help us charge the battery and we made it home. I talked with his spanish GF whom i first met on a trip to France whom my cousin invited me to visit. Had a wonderful time there by the way. He also had a very fast internet connection which i was delighted to use until I fell asleep watching harry potter. WoooHooooo. I slept like 3 hours and woke up to catch a cab. Made it my aunts house and got ready for the wedding. Boom! Did the wedding things…took a million pics exagerated of course. Ate some cake and lunch. Gave my cousin money. Made her happy to come and left. Now im here sitting in a couch writing this to you , the reader, from my Aunts house and one night away from leaving. I cant wait….and next week Im going on a cruise. Horaay for me!! Im letting out all my frusterations on my GF’s pussy. POW im out.!

I started listening to something I haven’t heard in so long. K-os. I remember how i would love to listen to it. How enjoyable his music was. Then i realized that it wasn’t a “was” and in reality it was an “always be”. The song was called “Man I used to be”. Some would argue that its just a song and reality is what it is. But it isn’t about reality. Its how to get there, How i felt, how it got me going, going where I wanted to go , ambitions, dreams into reality, ACTION. And deep down i feel angry. Pissed off. Enraged. And I want to rid myself of such emotion. I’ve enclosed myself into a dark box, by myself, with nothing. Void of thought.Void of feeling. Void of empathy. It would seem cold. But not really. Feeling temperature isn’t relevant here. Just lonely but willfully. I feel like I havent been myself. Like, just let go. Go out and do shit. You know what. I am. Im just going to be me. Probably selfish as hell but who gives a fuck. Nobody takes care of me or pays my bills but me. Fuck it. 

Its thanksgiving and Im at work. Yes i agreed to work on this day even though every bone in my body tells me otherwise. I agreed to work today in exchange for Christmas. I think it was fair. Other than the turkey being cooked and eaten today, I have alot of other things I must do after work. I have gifts to buy! I planned to head over to these different homes whom have invited me to come and eat at theyre homes. I feel obligated to atleast visit them which i plan to do. I feel constrained by what my friends are planning to do because in reality, were all supposed to go check out the deals for Black Friday. So its all up in the air right now. Don’t know whats going on. Hopefully things go ok. I plan to just hop from one to another and be at best buy to buy everything elses gifts. 

Sneaker Head

Im a sneaker shoe collector. A pretty knowledgable one. One who takes quality over quantity even though they do make a million of these shoes worldwide. Kind of contradictory in a sense. But I still do like to wear them. That is one think I cant understand yet. Why buy a pair of sneakers and not wear them. Makes no sense to me at all. This morning I woke up early to go get a ticket. Whats the need for a ticket you say? In order to not stand in some sort of line just to have the opportunity to BUY, just an opportunity, a chance to buy the Jordan 4’s BRED colorway. One of my best friends found out that CHamps is handing out tickets to the fortunate so that way we as customers, so loyal, wont have to wait inline but instead come in between a certain time and purchase them . This makes Black friday seem a whole lot better for me. This way, I dont have to worry so much about the other gifts I have to plan to buy. 

Im fascinated by spaces. I mean living space. How we create these spaces once left alone to our own devices. Not only beautiful space but ugly ones as well. I used to have a job where I had the opportunity to visit many living spaces. I was appalled at the differences. The extremes between them and how far one might reach a point of that extreme is interesting to me. On one side the Ugly, the horrid, the terrifying, and on the the other, the beautiful, the refreshed, the calmness. How apparent the difference. How unequivocally obvious that space has a direct connection to a person’s emotion. So, I have accepted this fact. I find myself endlessly looking at photos of living spaces. The ideas, the various concepts, the different views, opens my mind towards what I feel is correct. The majority I don’t like. In fact, are so generic that it baffles me why even put effort into thinking that it was o.k. to build such a hideous idea of a living space. Other’s are so custom, so specific that if they tried to resell the space it would render it unsaleable. I reach for the mid range. Somewhere in the middle but a little to the right towards more innovative. 

One of my co workers showed me a video compiled from Governor Romney’s supporters. If that was any indication of who is supporting Romney, he should be worried. Some of them are pretty illogical in their reasoning. But I think he could care less as long as he gets they’re vote. Its frightening that its also on the other side too. Some of Obama’s supporters are as crazy and ignorant. Maybe its wishful thinking to hope they would inform themselves of what it true and what isn’t. As far as it goes with me, I long have decided which crap to swallow. I think none of this will be easy. I just hope that he will get the job done and not use the government for they’re own agenda. 

Today is Sunday football at work. Another quiet day. Looking forward to my Fantasy football game. I cant really see anything from my desk so I just look at numbers the whole day. Other than that..I read. I love wikipedia. Its a mobile encyclopedia. Awesome. Always up for information. My GF bought some ticket to an NBA game here. I was surprised and Im happy about it. Really looking forward to it. I also have some errands to run and things to sell. Im going to try and sell things on Ebay. see if I can make a business out of it. Take pictures and box them up ready for shipping and whenever they are ready to be sent, ill send them. I think its very possible. Who knows what people want these days. At work I have to think about what shirt to wear but i Totally forgot I had to wear a jersey today and that made it all the better. I didnt have to worry about ironing my shirt at all. Whew. And this time change with DST kinda threw me off. I woke up later but I feel Im just becoming lazy. I lost like 5 lbs. which in fact for me is good news. Just need to get by the day and chill out when Im home. The weather has been great lately. Wish it was more like this and less of a sauna like it usually is in the summer.